Inept Vs. Insane: The Spreading Madness

I must say I have never in my life seen the amount of total batshit crazy out there in the “real” world. You’d think that asking people to simply wear a mask to thwart the spread of a virus that even Boss Tweet Trump says is real was akin to being castrated.

In Oklahoma, a clerk was shot and killed for asking a customer to comply with the business’s mask policy. There are so many accounts of these transgressions here and elsewhere that the psyche of an entire nation appears to be at the breaking point.

Old Uncle Sam is straining to free himself from the straight jacket. Once unleashed, can the left hand and right hand keep from inflicting serious injury to the body politic? How much longer can it hold?

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A Thin Volume

During these times of home streaming video the well-stocked bookshelf has become the preferred backdrop, but does that make the person’s opinions any more believable than the average schmuck?

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Let My People Dump

No sooner had I finished this cartoon than Wasted Management backtracked on their 200-vehicles-a-day policy. It took a truckload of complaints to raise a stink on this one.

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Just Another A**hole

Yesterday I made a trip to the outer world. I didn’t really want to, but there are some things that need to be done and I’m the only body available to do it. It’s a risky business for an old guy like me. I’m almost seventy and I already have medical conditions that mark me as a ripe target for Covid-19.

So it irks me to go into a business and see so many people who don’t feel the need to cover their face. Not just the neanderthals, but younger humans who look like they might have an ounce of responsibility rattling around in their head.

I was even more perturbed when I read an account of a female Facebook friend who was harassed by a group of thugs at a gas station in Penn Valley, just for asking them to keep their distance. I mean, what the actual fuck?

Wearing protection and keeping your distance is not that big a deal, folks. You can make a mask at home, and it’s not too difficult to stand a few feet away in most public places. Most businesses have measured and marked the areas to help those who are depth perception challenged.

So anyhow, I’d just like to show that I can be just as much of an asshole as the next guy or gal. If you are sensitive about seeing an exposed asshole, stop here. Otherwise, read on…

Posted in Culture, Inept vs. Insane 2020, Local | 9 Comments

Alien Vs. Covid-19

Okay, let’s clear up this Covid-19 business, using the Alien movies in comparison.

In the first movie, crew members attempt to drag the contaminated guy back into the ship, but Ripley refuses to open the airlock. Unfortunately, a unscrupulous doctor (who turns out to be a corporate robot) overrides her command and he opens the door.

Result: Only Ripley and Jones the cat survive. Everyone else dies horribly.

In the sequel, Aliens, the Colonial Marines and Ripley are sent in to clean up an infected colony, but the Marines treat the job like a joke and believe their big guns can handle any “bugs”.

Result: Ripley, Corporal Hicks and the child, Newt survive, but Ripley somehow gets infected.

In Alien III, Ripley wakes up on a prison planet. (Hicks and Newt are victims of faulty suspended belief pods, so as not to complicate the plot.) She brings the Alien with her, who makes mincemeat out of the captive prison inmates.

Result: Even Ripley dies, sacrificing herself  to foil a military scheme to use the alien as a weapon.

But in Alien IV, Ripley comes back as Typhoid Ripley, a clone fused with Alien DNA, in a laboratory aboard a government space ship. Cloned aliens escape and carnage ensues.

Result: Ripley and Wynona Rider Robot survive and get back to Earth.

(We’ll skip the stupid Alien v. Predator movies and move on to the prequels.)

Now in Alien Prometheus, supposedly wise aliens known as the Engineers play god and create life on Earth, but come to regret their decision as far as humans are concerned. This is discovered by the crew of the Prometheus as they explore a wet market on a desolate planet, where the Engineers have been wiped out by their predatory experiment.

Even so, a pair of idiot crew members find an alien and for some inexplicable reason decide to taunt it. The little alien makes short work of them.

Then a robot decides to infect another crew member with a viral cocktail, just for kicks. The crew member has sex with his girlfriend, spreading the infection, before going on a murder spree and getting cooked with a flamethrower.

The girlfriend realizes she’s carrying an alien, and finds a pro-choice computer program to help her abort the thing through a quickie c-section, but the little guy survives.

Meanwhile, the rest of the expedition discovers a surviving Engineer, forgetting that they were there to wipe out humanity.

Result: Everyone must die so the alien contaminant can’t get back to Earth. Girlfriend survives, but foolishly takes the traitorous robot off on a trip to find the Engineer homeworld.

Which brings us to Alien Covenant, where a ship full of colonists headed to a new planet get sidetracked and end up on the Engineer homeworld. Amazingly, the first thing they do is hike off into the woods without any protective clothing or breathing apparatus, even though they have no idea what kind of lifeforms and diseases exist on this planet. (Who recruits these people?)

Of course, alien spores immediately get into their orifices and the cycle of dumb begins again. The bad robot appears. He’s killed the girlfriend from Prometheus, using her as a host for his experiments, and wiped out the entire Engineer race for good measure. Colonists die.

Result: The bad robot tricks the survivors into carrying the alien seed off to the colony planet.

Moral: Shelter at home on Earth. And send the robots to the junkyard. They only want our jobs.

 

Posted in Culture, History, Inept vs. Insane 2020 | 4 Comments

Accidental Petroleum

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The One-Two Punch…

It’s been a few weeks since I did an AB5 cartoon, so here’s one for all my fellow freelancers…

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Fashion Statement

Mary Ann and I have ventured out several times this week for food, garden supplies and to mail packages. It’s been a mixed bag out there. Most of the parking lots in Glenbrook are full, and the majority of people wear no protection whatsoever.

We’ve been using masks and gloves. (Luckily, I’m married to a former caregiver who had some leftover supplies.) When we get home we remove the masks and gloves to be reused and remove most of our outer clothing to be washed or aired out.

Even so, a few people on Facebook gave me a hard time for going out at all. It’s a real minefield on social media right now. Bill Gates and George Soros plan to kill us with vaccines. COVID-19 is a hoax to destroy the economy to herald in the new age of socialism. Mayor Senum has gone into hyper anxiety over the secret installation of telecom towers while no one is looking.

Only one thing is certain. We definitely will never be the same.

 

Posted in Culture, Inept vs. Insane 2020, Local | 2 Comments

Dad

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A Sight For Sore Eyes

There is a bright side to the quarantine. You can actually breathe the air and see your surroundings. This is Los Angeles.

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