Bern, Baby, Bern

NUN One Twenty Six546

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Creative Solution No. 802701

Fish Balloons548

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Bizarro World

In the Bizarro World, cheap gas is a bad thing…


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You Never Know What You’re Gonna Get

NUN One Nineteen531

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The Royal Flush

Royal Flush545There’s been a lot of chatter on social media since Sheriff Keith Royal and the Board of Stuporvisors railroaded a draconian approach to the invasive marijuana culture onto the June ballot. Hundreds of amateur pharmacists have seen their livelihood threatened, just when it looked like the magic herb was going to finally be totally legalized in California.

So what is the reasoning behind this surprise attack? It’s no secret that the misnamed organization SAM (Smart Approach to Marijuana) has been working to snuff out the local industry. Their efforts were overwhelmingly supported by Nevada County voters in the last election when Measure S, a compromise favored by the growers, was defeated by a huge margin. My guess is that SAM, the Sheriff, and their allies decided to use the phony deadline issue to strike while they still have the momentum.

Because, despite all the ranting and raving by the growers and users, the demographics haven’t changed, and even if they can register every millennial in the county it’s not likely to make up a nineteen point spread.

Now in defense of the establishment position, most of the neighboring counties have already banished outdoor grows. Following the path of least resistance, growers would naturally flock to the place where they can do business, thus creating a major headache for law enforcement and the neighbors who have to endure the odors and obsessive security behavior of the farmers.

Even people who aren’t against medical or recreational pot are put off by the attitude that “hey, it’s my right to grow wherever, dude!” The thought of a THC tsunami into our neighborhoods, and the talk of making us “the Napa Valley of pot” is enough to drive voters to the polls in droves. (And it should be noted, once again, that even the liberal stronghold of Nevada City won’t allow a dispensary within their borders.)

Unfortunately, there is little middle ground between these opposing forces. If it were up to me, I’d allow outdoor grows of a reasonable size (say twenty-five plants) on agricultural land with a 500 foot buffer zone to pacify the neighbors. Limit the number of permits. There should be a dispensary somewhere in the western county where legit patients can get their medicine.(Glenbrook?)

Let’s face it: marijuana is not going away, no matter how much you wish it. This new initiative is going to divide the community for decades, and in the end the growers will win.  It will just be ugly for everyone in the years between.

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A Nevada County Family Tradition

Outlawing MaryJ541

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NUN One Twelve530

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Sweet Sixteen

Two-thousand sixteen! It’s finally here, and it promises to be one of those “interesting times” the Chinese warned us about. Anyone who is half conscious knows that there is a notably different vibe this time around. The inmates are finally making a serious challenge to the asylum, and everyone is nervous.

Gracie AllenThis is not a new phenomenon. Every twenty years or so, voters aspire to throw out the rule book and elect a lunatic. Our history is full of wacky wannabes, and some even got elected.

They said John Adams wanted to be king and Jefferson wanted to be a dictator. (Neither claim was true.)

Adams’ son got whipped by a psychotic hillbilly who once got shot and still managed to beat the crap out of his would-be assassin. Later, Andy Jackson betrayed his native allies and sent them on the Trail of Tears, which ranks down there with the Bataan death march in terms of cruelty and suffering. But hey, that’s what the voters wanted.

Marx Bros.Henry and George Wallace were pariahs within the Democratic party; Henry to the left and George to the right. Today we see their ghosts in the populist uprisings in both parties.

Or rather than ghosts, they are old ideas born again. Some believe government should have more say in the distribution of wealth while others want government to preserve their place in the social order. Both will use whatever means necessary to enforce the will of the people. Neither will recognize the legitimacy of the other.

Vermin for prezSounds like a recipe for revolution, doesn’t it?

Mainstream media has been wishing away the Trump campaign since it started, but it’s now become clear that if The Donald announced that he ate kittens for breakfast his polls would go up another five points. He and his supporters have become so emboldened that they flaunt their bigotry in public, much the same as their Democratic predecessors did in 1950’s Alabama.

It’s given the eastern establishment pros hives. It’s pretty bad when even the Republican Speaker of the House stands in front of the cameras and denounces your position on religious freedom  and still your numbers go up.

Magilla for prezMeanwhile, the coronation of the Clintons has been delayed by the upstart independent socialist Senator Bernie Sanders. Just as with Trump, the pundits are now marveling how the Berning Man has risen from the ashes of McGovernism to actually challenge the anointed heirs to the Oval Office.

And Madam Secretary hasn’t helped her case. Despite the partisan nature of the server scandal, there is the nagging perception that the Clintons are obsessed with secrecy. Even so, their attempts to circumvent the public record often seem clumsy and amateurish. You’d think they’d be better at it after all the Investi-gates of the nineties.

But honesty has never been a requirement for most Democrat  presidential candidates, as long as you can win elections and not stray too far to the right. Because of this year’s perceived weakness on the right, the left sees an opportunity to get to the top of the heap and start whittling it down until they achieve parity and equality for all. And lacking any viable youngsters, they’ll go with a frumpy old man from a backwater state who hasn’t compromised his message since he first climbed a stump almost a half century ago. The question is: will he be tough enough to survive the daily beatings he will encounter if he becomes the front-runner?

The real test comes in a few weeks when actual live voters start marking ballots. Will the outsiders prevail? Will editorial cartoonists and satirists continue to have material handed to them on a silver platter?

Stay tuned…


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Goldmine MagCover I did for Goldmine Magazine, featuring David Bowie as the Diamond Dog. I wore that album out. We’ll miss you, Ziggy.

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Lost In Translation


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