Needling Trump

Another in a long list of cruel portrayals of a misunderstood saintly president by a heartless cartoonist. When, oh when, will this travesty end?

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QUber Alles

Okay…Listen up, kids…I may not have much time before “certain powers” locate this earthshaking report and wipe it off the Interweb. Some of you will understand and do a quick printout before the Great Plug is violently pulled from the information socket .  Your digital memory storage devices have been rigged with explosives, and don’t think your private parts are hidden in a cloud. Zeppelins  with electrified nets stand ready to pluck them from the sky like plantation cotton.

Only paper can be trusted. Encase the documents in seal-a-meal, put them in a watertight 100% plastic container and bury it somewhere safe. That way you can foil the metal detectors, which is why liberals hate plastic. (Come to think of it, you may want to toss a few boxes of straws in there before they are banned. Plastic straws could become valuable currency in the post-apocalypse black market.)

But let me get to the real story.

Just a few short weeks ago, Mary Ann and I did a one-day tour of the northern end of the Sierra Nevada range. What we discovered  proved that President Trump really is everywhere at all times, even in the remote rural backwaters of the Golden Blue State.

It appeared out of nowhere; a huge blazing white “Q” on the mountainside. I was temporarily blinded by its brilliance, and I almost sideswiped a logging truck. (See photo at right.)  The truck appeared  to be headed straight for the hole in the big letter, as if it was some sort of an entrance. But entrance to what?

There are endless possibilities, but I believe it is all tied to the “Q”.

For  instance, what is the purpose of this massive letter ? It’s big enough to be seen from space, so wouldn’t it make sense to assume it is a visual aid to guide extraterrestrials to a hidden terminal in the hollowed out mountain?

At first I couldn’t figure out what logging trucks and aliens had in common. And what was the connection to all-father Trump?

Then I remembered the bumper sticker I had seen on another vehicle earlier in the day. It read: EARTH FIRST: WE’LL LOG THE OTHER PLANETS LATER.

That rascal Trump has negotiated a trade deal with Uranus, the logical home of the alien customers. Uranus lost its forests thousands of years ago, before becoming a frozen block of ammonia and methane, and it is willing to trade its advanced “Q” technology for badly needed firewood.

“Q” is obviously code for “quake.” What better way to rid the Republic of the socialist disease than to sink it in the ocean. The vast majority of liberals live within jogging distance of an ocean. The deep blue state could be jettisoned into the deep blue sea, leaving a new coastline inhabited by right-thinking Americans.

Trump no doubt got the idea from watching Superman: The Movie back in the 70’s. He’s always identified with Lex Luthor, who first came up with the concept.

But there won’t be any liberal superhero to save the day. The fetus pizza-eating elites will drown like rats, and any survivors will be picked up and incarcerated by the North Korean Navy. This brilliant Trump strategy will realign the solar system power structure with a one-two punch, and he and his friends will make a bundle to boot.

(Areas targeted for the Big “Q”. Inland liberal strongholds will just become massive pits, and will be converted to waste dumps.)

And don’t tell the Chinese. Trump and Putin have already decided to split the country between them. It will be easy to conquer; the Chinese will never see the tanks coming through the smog.

But I’ve already rambled too long. Smart people will grasp the significance of what I have said here, while the ignorant and dumb will return to their cell phone porn until it is too late.

Now it has been brought to my attention that the big “Q” actually stands for the town of Quincy. Yeah. Right. That’s what they want you to believe.

I’ve done all that I could. If you see me on the street tomorrow and I deny any knowledge of these facts, you’ll know that my memory has been wiped by the NSAKGB goons. Print it out now.

Good luck.

 

 

Posted in General, Local, Politics, Uncategorized | 5 Comments

The Simpleton Solution

Problem-Solver-In-Chief proves once again why he’s president and you’re not…

Posted in Local, Politics | 3 Comments

Nothing Set In Stone

I watched last night’s Nevada City City Council meeting with the apprehension one might have witnessing a public execution.

The condemned was the proposed statue honoring Senator Aaron Sargent and his wife, Ellen, both involved in the birthing of the 19th amendment which institutionalized the right of women to vote in the then-forty-eight states of America.

The project has long been the dream of David Sparky Parker and the Famous Marching Presidents & First Ladies of Nevada City, California. The concept had been bandied about for years, but finally became the official goal of the Presidents in 2011. Fundraising began. An Auburn sculptor created a scale model of what the finished statue might look like.

But there was a problem, one that I discovered some years earlier when I looked up the history of Aaron Sargent. He was a also a vicious racist, especially toward Chinese immigrants. He was proponent of the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882.

In earlier times, this might not have been a big obstacle, but in light of the current trend of removing the statues of confederate heroes across the nation, it was the death blow to any chance the Sargent statue might have had.

I can’t disagree with that judgement. After all, I defended the removal of those statues, which I contend were more about cementing white supremacy into the southern culture than honoring their past heroes. Put them in a museum and explain them in their proper context in American history.

And it may be that the Sargents and their contribution to local and national history will suffer the same fate. There were many suggestions from the locals, which is normal for politics in Nevada City. One person thought of adding a Chinese person to the monument.  Another suggested a monument that included all of Nevada City’s pioneers.

And there was the suggestion that the only worthy recipient of statuary would be a Nisenan native, preferably a female. If we are looking for an icon that is free of sin, a local native would be as close as you could come. After all, when the forty-niners invaded the area, they not only wiped out the Nisenan, they also obliterated most of their history.

In his recent book, The History Of Us, author Richard Johnson has attempted to fill in the gaps left by the genocide. Not surprisingly, the Nisenan fought wars, were a male dominated culture, and in general were subject to the same prejudices and superstitions that plague the rest of the human race.

This is not to diminish the indignities they suffered. They were cheated out of their heritage and the small plot of land originally ceded to them by treaty. Rather than a statue, they would benefit more by having their legitimacy as a sovereign tribe restored.

Perhaps the best suggestion floated last night was to forget statues altogether and raise money to help those locals who are in need. Name it after Ellen Clark Sargent to honor her work as a suffragette.

But wait a minute…Someone also asked if we know how Ellen felt about the Chinese. Did she agree with her husband? Back to the drawing board…

 

Posted in Culture, History, Local | 4 Comments

No Driver Necessary

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Ivan & Igor

Some people take a knee, while others get down on both.

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Hot Foot

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Washington BBQ

And speaking of shirts, here’s the design for the annual Washington Fire & Rescue Chicken BBQ Saturday, August 4 from noon to whenever they run out of chickens. Cock-a-doodle-do!!!

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Holy Shirt!

For the past 28 years I’ve been doing artwork for the Sierra Buttes Trail Stewardship. (Back then they were called the Coyote Adventure Co.) Last winter they commissioned a massive drawing for a new shirt design. Yesterday, we took a trip up to Downieville and got to see the finished colorized product. Awesome!

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The Ones That Got Away

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