Yes We Con – Day Two: The Blond Leading The Blond

Back in the days when I prowled the backroads of Eastern Washington, I visited the little town of Roslyn, where they were shooting the TV series Northern Exposure. There were no camera crews there, but all the familiar landmarks stood out like a Hollywood set. We had a beer at The Brick, and I scribbled a cartoon on the bathroom wall. (Unlike most bars, this was a tradition. Everybody signed their name.) You could see where they pasted a “s” onto the wall of the Roslyn Cafe, to make it appear to be a business owned by Roslyn rather than the name of the town. The paved streets were covered with brown mud to simulate dirt roads.

I had been hoping to see Janine Turner, who played the part of feisty bush pilot Maggie O’Connell. I had a crush on her back then, like a lot of single guys. Janine fit the part well, and it was no doubt the high point of her career.

At least until Tuesday night in Tampa, when the actress turned radio commentator took center stage at Republic-Con 2012. The cute young brunette is now a middle-aged bleached blond, who spent her big moment spouting cliche’s and GOP talking points. She even drug out Benny Frankin’s warning about getting a republic, “if you can keep it.” Oh well, I suppose that’s what happens to conservatives once they’ve been outed in Tinseltown.

And what is it with the blond women and Republicans? Watching on C-span as the cameras would pan through the crowd, I swear at least 75% of the women were yellow hairs. When the blonds from Fox News arrived, it started to look more like a Barbie impersonator convention. After a while it gets hard to tell them apart. Was that Martha McCallum? No, it was Molly Henneberg, or maybe one of the Heathers. 

Sure, you’ve got your Mia Love, Nikki Haley and Michelles Malkin and Bachmann, but they are outnumbered by Laura Ingraham, Ann Coulter, Peggy Noonan, Kathleen Parker and a million others. A lot of them are also attorneys, which explains the sharpened teeth.

But the queen of the prom last night was Ann Romney. A lot was riding on Ann’s performance, given all the media hype and her designation as “Mitt’s secret weapon.” She played her part well, coming off as a sincere but well-rehearsed motivational speaker/evangelist, extolling the many hidden virtues of her life’s love.  

The entire evening was spent attempting to put a human face without make-up on the GOP, and with good reason. Democrats have portrayed the blond army as the embodiment of the Stepford wives, lulled into a life of housework and child-bearing for the unscrupulous businessmen.

“Welcome to our gated community, Judy. Come join us at the the tea party. Your vaginal probe awaits you and then we’ll have you fitted for your new chastity belt.”

But after the blondfest was concluded, the real meat of the evening was delivered by New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. The imposing Christie is a bare-knuckle brawler who shoots from the hip and gives good speech. There were many in the room who secretly wish it was The Guv on the top of the ticket to face off with Obama in the coming debates. Like in the movie Rocky, the GOP wants a fighter who can knock the stuffing out of the obnoxious Apollo Creed. No one is sure if Romney is truly their Great White Hope.

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19 Responses to Yes We Con – Day Two: The Blond Leading The Blond

  1. steve cottrell says:

    Whenever the C-SPAN camera showed Romney in his box seat, I had the distinct impression that he was mumbling to himself, “Gawd, I’m glad Christie didn’t run for president.”

    And as someone who will be voting for Obama in November, I had the same thought.

  2. Tom Odachi says:

    Ha! Good one, RL.
    Regarding the strategy to have Mrs. Romney give a speech at the convention to show another view of her husband, while attempting to make him more likeable, made me wonder if that’s typical at these things? Have other candidates in the past used their spouses to fawn over them?
    It just strikes me as strange that a potential POTUS would have his wife (!) espouse all the good and wonderful things about him that nobody else can see.

    On the other hand, my mother still thinks I can do no wrong. You should hear her go on about me!

  3. Todd Juvinall says:

    We have the best looking babes. Brown, black or blonde.

  4. Judith Lowry says:

    Janine Turner is a Restasis spokesperson.
    I guess the R-conventioneers want to make sure there isn’t a dry eye in the house. 😀

  5. Steve Frisch says:

    I have to say this may be the least substantive convention I have ever seen, and I have watched most of every convention since 1972 (at the geeky age of 13). I know less about what the Republicans are going to do, what policy they support, and what results they hope to achieve than I did on Sunday. What is the policy? I sure hope the Democrats actually say something about WTF we are going to do. If not they are just another bunch of panderers, like Mr. Ryan, who has said absolutely nothing.

    • Todd Juvinall says:

      Well you just must be deaf then. Get that hearing checked soon.

      Perhaps you should download and read the platform and maybe watch the folks with the smarts like Rice, Susana Martinez and Ted Cruz. Ryan dida fine job and only an extreme liberal leftwinger would say otherwise.

  6. Rice merely demonstrated very concisely what the Republicans left on the buffet table, when they ordered out from McDonalds.

    • Steve Frisch says:

      If Condi Rice had run in the Republican primaries she would have been roundly rejected. She is way too liberal for today’s Republican party. She is against overturning Roe v. Wade; supports immigration reform along the Bush plan path (which I did as well); supports affirmative action; supports civil unions; and is generally socially moderate.

      • Todd Juvinall says:

        The Republican Party has people from all spectrum’s as evidenced by Rice. She received a standing O and was well adored by those radicals on the floor. You lefty’s just can’t understand how tolerant the party is. The democrats are the PC crowd and are so extreme they support killing a baby as it starts out the birth canal. We support life.

        • Judith Lowry says:

          The death toll in Afghanistan just topped 2,000.
          (That’s separate from the deaths in Iraq.)
          The first thousand died in the first eight years of this war, the second thousand have died in the last two years, so it’s an escalating war and no one really knows why we are allowing our young soldiers to be killed over there.
          So, is that what you mean by supporting life?

          I do agree that extracting a deformed, brain damaged fetus from a woman is a hideous grisly procedure. It is nothing that a woman would ever want to experience. But it happens.
          Imagine your wife in the perilous situation of carrying a hydrocephalic fetus with a head the size of a large cantaloupe. How would you expect her to pass something like that through her delicate cervix? Can’t be done without tearing her apart down there and possibly sterilizing or even killing her. Through time countless women have died in agony with babies stuck inside them.
          Historically, maternal mortality rates were much higher before the twentieth century, with women averaging a life span of a little over forty years, childbirth deaths accounting for that average.
          So there you are, holding your wife’s hand as she suffers. You know the child will die anyway, but what, you insist she endure that? Would you be okay with burying her along with her dead baby. And if you have other children at home waiting for their mother, what would you tell them.”Well, Mommy had to die because, on principle, I did not allow the doctor to save her.” ?
          Todd, none of us know what we would actually do “in the trenches”, until the situation arises. You can theorize and you can expound, but at the end of the day you cannot make those decision for others, only yourself.
          My guess is that if it meant saving your wife’s life, you would do what you must to protect and save her.
          And you would be there to love and comfort each other over your heartbreaking loss.

          • Todd Juvinall says:

            How did Afghanistan get into the mix? I support leaving the nutty people there to their own designs.

        • Ryan Mount says:


          I would advise the Republicans to keep the rhetoric toned down on this issue. I think reasonable people realize that the abortion issue is not singular event. It has many different drivers and outcomes and comprises a spectrum of situations.

          However, any mention of abortion issues in any scope regardless of the perceived [arguable self] righteousness of moral conservative Republicans, immediately (as in *poof* we’ve not voting for you) alienates a good chunk of the voting electorate.

          I once said here that no one like/wants an abortion, echoing Judith’s comments above. To which, you replied that Planned Parenthood does. So I called them and asked then that question. They said no, they don’t like performing abortions, but they are glad that there is a safe and economical place women can go to get one. (Actually, they thought I was a quack for asking what they believed was an obvious question).

          • Todd Juvinall says:

            The country is now over 50% for my position on abortion. It is much greater for the procedure called partial birth abortion. So the minority appears to be the party who supports the death of the child.

          • Ryan Mount says:

            Again, I would recommend not broaching this topic, even if you think the margins are in your favor. Republicans will lose this battle, badly.

            How many late term abortions are performed in the USA? Isn’t less than 2% of all pregnancies (>21 weeks)? And under what circumstances? So this is issue is a bit of a tempest in a teapot.

            BTW, as an adopted child, I feel I have a dog in this fight.

            I think most people (way more than 50%) believe that using late term abortions as birth control is unacceptable. That if the child can survive in reasonable conditions, aborting the child that late should not be an option. Right?

            The issue is complications as per Judith’s comments.

            Q: So if the child has died, or will die and threatens the life of the mother after 21 weeks (Conservative Federal Legislation has called for 24 weeks), do you still support not allowing a late term termination?

            Just trying to clear the air here.

  7. Judith Lowry says:

    Well Todd,

    With correlation of abortion and war, which kills mature human beings, I’m obviously referring to lethal hypocrisy.

    • Robert Lovejoy says:

      Can somebody be both pro abortion and anti-captial punishment? Or can somebody be both pro-life and pro capital punishment? Inquiring minds would like to know.

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