The Inner View

Kim-Jong-Knowyourmeme5Recent developments in the ongoing war of words between blogger Kim Jff Pun and conservative opponents reached a new level of butt stupid this week. The feud, which has been festering for almost five years, pits the benevolent leader of the Republic of the Sierra Foothills against The Confederation of Workers, Patriots, & Retiree Oligarchs, or COWPRO. It began with a series of anonymous trollers posting false messages on COWPRO blogs, which in turn led to Kim’s threat to expose them all in his upcoming comedy, Jefferson State of Mind.  

“I’ll bombard them with personally signed copies,” the Great Leader sneered. “If they don’t respect my boundaries, I’ll follow with volumes of lawsuits.”

The chief mouthpiece (or biggest mouth) of COWPRO, Thudd Joovanilla, issued a rebuttal in his native language: “Stoopd leftee Phn iz a JoKe too uzz. Wee no he yousis fony emale namez. Wee dew nott takke hmm cereiuslee.” He then went into his people’s traditional owl dance, flapping his arms wildly while chanting “HOOT HOOT” in a mocking fashion.  He was joined by the rest of the sandbox sages in a series of witty putdowns and contemptuous comparisons to various types of devils, demons and invertebrates  . Kim responded with his trademark “laughing-my-ass-off-rolling-on-the-floor” acronym, a vision that no one would care to see in reality.

Kim was quick to point out that there was a vast interblogospherical conspiracy to get him, led by a mysterious entity named “trout”, who the dictator believes is an agent of the  military industrial complex, or maybe the Fast Newspaper Cartel. “Trout” transmits his wiseacre remarks from an undisclosed bunker in the suburban jungle of the central valley, leading some to wonder why he cares what we natives do in our own backyard.

The rest of our tiny corner of the world watched the tortured tableau unfold, or at least five or six of them did. Everyone else rolled their eyes at the titanic waste of time and energy and went back to more fruitful endeavors, like watching cute kitty videos on Facebook.


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16 Responses to The Inner View

  1. fish says:

    Granted….. it’s pretty ridiculous at times! Every time I start to get bored and think….there has to be a better and more satisfying use of the time Little Kim the Spherical goes and says something so pants shittingly stupid that I can’t help myself.

    I admit it’s a character flaw!

  2. Michael Anderson says:

    Excellent review of the unfolding local blogger stupidity, Bob. I admit I got caught up in the commenting drama back when, but have since come to my senses. Huge. Waste. Of. Time.
    I’d like to comment instead on your use of the North Korea v. Sony analogy. It’s a clever device, with Kim as Jeff and Sony/CABPRO as Todd, but it diminishes the seriousness of what North Korean cyber warriors have done to Sony.
    I would rather see it reversed, a sarcastic portrayal of Todd Juvinall and Jeff Pelline in their current state of affairs but also a serious look at WTF happened in this very serious cyber battle, with Todd as Kim Jong-un and Jeff as Sony Corp’s CEO Kazuo Hirai. The focus would then be on how fragile are our communication systems in the 21st century, and how untenable is this dire situation.
    Of course, since no one outside of a handful of blog monkeys know about the internal silliness of the Todd v. Jeff battle, my preference would never work.
    Oh well, back to the drawing board!

    • rlcrabb says:

      We went through a similar situation a few years ago when South Park tried to slip an image of Mohammad into the TV series. They ended up being censored after threats of retaliation from Jihadists. I’m not surprised that the first amendment is being shredded along with the rest of the constitution. We will speak of this further in future posts.

      • Michael R. Kesti says:

        The first amendment begins with the phrase, “Congress shall make no law…” The cowardly decisions made by Sony and the producers and distributors of South Park were made by those businesses rather than by legislation and are therefore not first amendment issues.

        Other than that, though, bravo, Bob, for yet another dose of your always delightfully unique brand of humor!

        • rlcrabb says:

          While you are correct in assigning the censorship to Sony, it is sad to see that private enterprise is just giving in to the thugs, and that so much of the public is content to go along.

  3. Brad says:

    What do the Japanese have to say about the SONY flap? It is their business, right?
    Who cares if the movie does not play in the big-city franchise theaters? Play it at the Del Oro and the Nevada Theater. Let’s show that fat-faced Korean punk that we are ready to rumble – and cut off the billions in food aid we give to Korea while we are at it.
    Screw Un if he can’t take a joke.
    Besides, it will just go to cable and video and become a cult classic anyway.

  4. Don Baumgart says:

    So, the North Koreans hacked Sony and dumped a few momentarily embarrassing emails about movie stars. And stole the script for the next James Bond movie. Then threatened to kill anybody who went to see “The Interview” in a theater. Sony has pulled the movie from distribution.* It’s also safe to assume the hackers stole the movie in question, which is now not available in America. Expect to see bootleg DVD versions flood the Internet, perhaps in time for Christmas.

    * It’s fun to see Wolf Blitzer come out from behind the red CNN BREAKING NEWS logo to talk about the cancellation, then say, “We’ll be right back after this.” This being a promo for the movie “Opening Christmas Day”.

  5. rlcrabb says:

    There are still few artists who aren’t afraid of the big bad wolf….

  6. The stretch marks must really be ugly after Mr. Bubba’s attempt to equate the perpetrators of the Sony hack with our zany local conservatives.

    Then there’s his criticism of The Union for outsourcing its printing. Heck, they’re way behind the curse on this one, a trend that was pioneered by the likes of (grab onto something) the San Francisco Chronicle!

    The former Voice of the West sold its printing operation and then signed a long-term contract to have the new owners print the paper. I wonder how many unionized jobs that outsourcing maneuver cost? I’ll bet Mr. Bubba’s good friend Will Hearst could tell us.

  7. Terry says:

    The so-called “tabloids” are chock full of rumors of rumors about so-called “celebrities from Richard Geres’ gerbil fetish to Bill Cosbys’ extracurricular hobbies regarding (allegedly) unwilling targets of his misplaced affection and no one says much of anything. South Park routinely pokes any number of bears and social icons and even risked the ire of now defunct (thank God) Kim Jong Il, (“Team America”) without any apparent repercussions and now we are assailed by allegations of hacking and Sony’s chicken-shit response of pulling a movie which suggests what many people actually think is a good idea. Poor multi-billion dollar corporation and poor misunderstood Kim Jong (“I’m so ronery…”) Un. All we’ve learned from this international soap opera is that a) that little Korean dictator is a bigger turd than his old man, and b) there’s not one iota of information in this world that is stored electronically that is safe from anyone determined enough to hack it. Do you hear that CLOUD groupies? Are you listening Facebook fanatics? How comfortable is anyone with their cyber devices now? I would guess that the ramifications of the Sony incident will pass like so much flatulence because we just simply MUST be in touch with “friends” every moment of every day. So, Sony caves in to a little-dick despot when they in fact have done some rather despicsble acts themselves in pursuit of our dollars. And so it is with the two subjects of this blog: both crave attention and get it when the rest of us join our voices with or against their insipid rants. What do you say that we simply ignore them and let them fight it out between them. We can read the result in the obits.

  8. Robert Lovejoy says:

    Nice photo of little Dik. He does not look happy. Is it because someone swiped the propeller from his beanie or is his he just constipated.

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