Inept vs. Insane: Dems Declare Victory

Within moments of Mitt Romney’s introduction of Paul Ryan as “the next President of the United States”, Democrats and their partners in the press declared the 2012 presidential sweepstakes over and done with. Watching the “big three” networks could easily have been confused with the Discovery Channel’s Shark Week, which coincidentally started at the same time. Ryan’s legislative accomplishments, although sparse, were ripped apart by a long line of political hacks until every last drop of blood was consumed. Then they tore into his now-famous budget proposal, conjuring up visions of the two villains tossing the elderly over the side of the Romney yacht while laughing hysterically and adding the deceased’s social security checks into a treasure chest which they will later bury on an undisclosed beach in the Cayman Islands.

And all this before even one new negative ad has bombarded our big screen TV’s. Democrats are so confident of Obama’s reelection that there is already talk of diverting campaign funds to embattled congressional races, where the news is not as cheerful. Treacherous voters are notorious for splitting tickets, and even if the Prez wins the Big One, the prospect of trying to accomplish anything substantial would be difficult with both houses of Congress in enemy hands.

Meanwhile, the many branches of the Tea Party expressed their approval of the Romney/Galt…uh, Ryan ticket, and effectively dropped any pretense of being non-partisan. Now all they have to do is convince enough voters that they can gut the government, give tax breaks to everyone, restore all funding to the military industrial complex, pay off the national debt and balance the budget.

Ryan, for his part, is making an effort to appear more human than the dour personality he projects on C-span. He thinks Jon Stewart is the funniest guy on TV and has expressed a fondness for heavy metal, Led Zeppelin in particular. One can almost see him rockin’ out, singing along with Robert Plant…“I’m gonna squeeze my lemon, till the juice run down my leg…”

He’s got his work cut out for him.

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13 Responses to Inept vs. Insane: Dems Declare Victory

  1. Todd juvinall says:

    I thought he would pick me darn it.

    • Michael Anderson says:

      Would that be TJ of the TSA Party? You would have captured 100% of the Filipino-American vote, that’s for sure.

      • Todd juvinall says:

        All women love me and you are just jealous. I saw the pic and I was told they turned off the scanner when you were trying to go through. Romney would have gotten those single babes vote had he picked me. Darn it!

        • Michael Anderson says:

          “Romney would have gotten those single babes vote had he picked me.”

          Todd, I don’t doubt that for a moment. You are a Nevada County rock star, and anyone who claims otherwise will need to talk to me first.

  2. Tom Odachi says:

    Great commentary, RL! I especially loved the last paragraph — and No, I can’t see Ryan liking — let alone doing Zeppelin! What about Romney rocking Nugent? Yeah, right. Ha! Curiously though, Obama actually did a pretty decent Al Green.

  3. Judith Lowry says:

    Some folks should understand that wang-wagging indicates a form of emotional insecurity.
    Helen Gurley-Brown would have agreed.
    Great lady, may she rest in peace.

    • rl crabb says:

      One political wag noted that Ryan’s beefcake photos were getting more hits than his budget. However, we don’t know whether it’s men or women doing the gawking.

    • Robert Lovejoy says:

      Judith, you are on to something. People say powerful men in politics have an over active sex drive. Bill Clinton, JFK, Herman Cain, Rep. Weiner come to mind. They also have a deep seeded need to be liked. I once worked with Hollywood actors. The most insecure and neurotic people on the face of the earth. I was doing music videos on the side to pick up extra income. One famous pop star was upset that the sock the wardrobe person gave him was not big enough. He came unglued. She gave him a bigger sock the size of a foot long deli sandwich which he felt was workable. I told the wardrobe woman that I was surprised since I heard black men had big dongs. She smiled and said “Not all black men.” Learn something new every day. Politicians and actors take insecurity to a new level.

  4. Ryan would not be well received if he visited Treat Street at our county fair. According to The Wall Street Journal, he passed up the opportunity to eat fried butter, deep-fried Twinkies and bacon-wrapped corn dogs at the Iowa State Fair.

  5. Greg Goodknight says:

    Erskine Bowles, a Clinton White House Chief of Staff, had this to say about Ryan last year:

    “Have any of you all met Paul Ryan? We should get him to come to the university. I’m telling you this guy is amazing. … He is honest, he is straightforward, he is sincere. And the budget that he came forward with is just like Paul Ryan. It is a sensible, straightforward, serious budget and it cut the budget deficit just like we did, by $4 trillion. … The president as you remember, came out with a budget and I don’t think anybody took that budget very seriously. The Senate voted against it 97 to nothing.”

    Nice video:

    I think Dems are partying a bit early; the mud that’s being flung will very probably not stick on the intended target.

    • Todd juvinall says:

      The R/R response team has got out a great ad today refuting Obama on Medicare. They have turned the tables on the liar. Also, a point R/R need to make over and over is the “Ryan” budget is dead and gone. US Senate and Obama killed it so why spend any time on the dead horse? Krauthammer made that point today and it is an excellent response to the stupid lamestream media dolts. So, the Romney plan is now also the Ryan plan and that is where they will be spending their time to discuss. What a great response.

  6. Brad Croul says:

    The tea party has visions of Obamacare death panels and the Dems have visions of death ships on the high seas.
    Are we becoming the United States of Mass Hysteria?

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