Within moments of Mitt Romney’s introduction of Paul Ryan as “the next President of the United States”, Democrats and their partners in the press declared the 2012 presidential sweepstakes over and done with. Watching the “big three” networks could easily have been confused with the Discovery Channel’s Shark Week, which coincidentally started at the same time. Ryan’s legislative accomplishments, although sparse, were ripped apart by a long line of political hacks until every last drop of blood was consumed. Then they tore into his now-famous budget proposal, conjuring up visions of the two villains tossing the elderly over the side of the Romney yacht while laughing hysterically and adding the deceased’s social security checks into a treasure chest which they will later bury on an undisclosed beach in the Cayman Islands.
And all this before even one new negative ad has bombarded our big screen TV’s. Democrats are so confident of Obama’s reelection that there is already talk of diverting campaign funds to embattled congressional races, where the news is not as cheerful. Treacherous voters are notorious for splitting tickets, and even if the Prez wins the Big One, the prospect of trying to accomplish anything substantial would be difficult with both houses of Congress in enemy hands.
Meanwhile, the many branches of the Tea Party expressed their approval of the Romney/Galt…uh, Ryan ticket, and effectively dropped any pretense of being non-partisan. Now all they have to do is convince enough voters that they can gut the government, give tax breaks to everyone, restore all funding to the military industrial complex, pay off the national debt and balance the budget.
Ryan, for his part, is making an effort to appear more human than the dour personality he projects on C-span. He thinks Jon Stewart is the funniest guy on TV and has expressed a fondness for heavy metal, Led Zeppelin in particular. One can almost see him rockin’ out, singing along with Robert Plant…“I’m gonna squeeze my lemon, till the juice run down my leg…”
He’s got his work cut out for him.