Orly for Senate

In an earlier post, I stated that reigning birther queen Orly Taitz was not running for the U.S. Senate seat currently occupied by the decrepit Dianne Feinstein. Well, Orly had second thoughts it seems, and did indeed toss her tin foil hat into the ring.

This is an opportunity for California Republicans to really show their core beliefs. Forget about the other losers in the GOP primary, Orly is already a nationally known celebrity who will bring a certain amount of pizzazz to a contest that would otherwise be a snoozer. It’s pretty much a given that Princess Di will be reelected unless she dies of old age between now and November. Orly will give us the media attention we Californians deserve.

Everybody who’s seen ‘The Omen’ (and sequels II, III, and IV) knows how the imposter Obama got elected. Back in 1960, Beelzebub (and co-conspirators Mao, Ayatollah Khomeni, Nikita Krushchev and Hollywood) hatched the infant Obama from the womb of a Kenyan jackal, had him adopted by a lefty loony American girl and her Kenyan hubby, and then moved to Honolulu where some demons in the records department put together a flawed birth certificate to make him eligible to be the top seed in 2008. They were aided by Lee Harper (childhood neighbor and buddy of Truman Capote, commie homo) who wrote a tear-jerker Pulitzer prize-winning novel which was made into a movie starring Gregory Peck. The role cemented Peck’s image as an American icon. Peck then went on to play the father of “Damian” in The Omen. Coincidence? Only a fool couldn’t make the obvious connection. 

Now I would be less than honest if I didn’t admit that Orly’s candidacy would be a boon to myself and my commie cartoonist co-conspirators. No more worrying about what to draw for next week’s edition of the lamestream media. With the demise of so many newspapers, we’d be able to cash in on t-shirts and posters and be able to feed our families, at least until November.

So vote your conscience. Do it for America. Make my day.

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13 Responses to Orly for Senate

  1. Barry Pruett says:

    OMG. I have one word for you. Unhinged.

    • rl Crabb says:

      What? Me, unhinged? Barry, in the latest post on your own blog you imply that Nate Beason fibbed about his hometown because he is afraid of Sue McGuire’s Nevada County heritage. Talk about grasping at straws!! You’ve chided Obama for taking a victory lap after ordering the seals to rub out Osama, but narry a word about GW’s triumphant aircraft carrier photo shoot a few years back. This is what politicians do, regardless of party.
      No opinion on Orly Taitz’ run? She should be a natural ally of your candidate for congress. Orly used to yank teeth too, before she went on to get fang implants and a law degree. Her patients said she would drive them crazy talking politics once they were strapped into the chair and their mouths filled with cotton. I guess it was practice for her quixotic campaign tilting at birth certificates around the country.
      Unhinged? You bet! We’ll all be needing a shot of WD40 before this season is over. Until then, I plan on squeaking with the best of them.

      • Tony Waters says:

        I think he meant that Barry meant that Orly is unhinged, not you. You are normal, remember? That’s why you don’t run for Senate. Cartoonists are far less unhinged than are Senate cases. Only unhinged people run for Senate–which explains a lot about what goes on in the Senate!

        On the other hand, I don’t know what kind of endorsement that Barry is making for a Senate race between Orly and Dianne. Who would he actually vote for?


        • rl Crabb says:

          No, I’m not blowing smoke here, Tony. The birth certificate issue has been prominently displayed on the local blogs. If the conservatives really believe that there’s a vast afterbirth conspiracy, then they should embrace the candidate who has dared to speak the unspeakable truth. If Obama isn’t a Real American Citizen, then what’s to stop us from waterboarding him to get the secret plans of Agenda 666? I must admit, the Dems have done a stellar job of covering it up. What did they have on Hillary to keep her from spilling the beans during the ’08 primaries? What kind of deal was made to get that cushy Secretary of State job? The mind boggles.

          • Tony Waters says:

            I still would like to know from Barry who it is that is unhinged, RL or Orly?

        • Barry Pruett says:

          Sorry guys. Clearly I was talking about Orly. She is a couple sandwiches short of a picnic, a few beers short of a six-pack, a couple pineapples shy of a luau. Choose your metaphor! Sorry for the confusion Crabb!

          Also, you are right about GWB too!

          • rl Crabb says:

            Thanks, Barry. I’m not feeling so psychotic now that I’ve switched to bottled water from Mt. Shasta. The Lemurians filter it through organic sasquatch fur to remove the pollution from the government chem-trails and the run off from dentists’ fluoride spills.

  2. gregoryzaller says:

    I envy your job RL, you somehow can get away with being crazy and even do some good with it.

  3. Your hinges are working just fine. You have a marvelously wide swing!

  4. Not to nitpick or anything (you know how former newspaper guys are), but it’s Harper Lee, not Lee Harper, and she was Capote’s cousin as well as his neighbor.

    There’s one other aspect of the Obama plot you forgot to mention: Within a week of his “birth” in Hawaii, each of the Honolulu newspapers listed the event in the vital statistics. That’s a conspiracy with real advanced planning.

    • rlcrabb says:

      Thanks for your correcting influence, George. I sometimes get a little dyslexic when the blogging fever strikes. Also, I believe the birth announcements were fudged using timephotoshop. Don’t we all wish we could go back and fix the past?

  5. rlcrabb says:

    Here’s some red meat for you Orly fans. I love a woman in armor…

  6. Ryan Mount says:

    “she’s like the Energizer bunny on steroids”

    Just allow that image to steep in your mind’s eye for a moment. Imagine her in the Senate next to Harry Reed.

    Come to think of it, that might be a good time.

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